ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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