Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You smell like stripper and shame
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The struggles of a small town man whore
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
