i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
