Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize