her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
