It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
her facebook's as public as her vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize