i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize