my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
