i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
