..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I booty called her while she was in labor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
