just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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