I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
