Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
