the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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