oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
