Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i would punch a child for taco bell
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
