Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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