I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
we should paint friendship bongs
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