is your mom at the bar?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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