im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
