we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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