I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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