These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
