Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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