she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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