ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
