New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
