Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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