well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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