Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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