i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
