Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
