..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
handjob tips. give me some.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
