dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
