Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
