i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
