JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
