At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
