how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh god the rape fog is back!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
