i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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