we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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