i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
