that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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