Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize