just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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