I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
