They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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