After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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