If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
