so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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