margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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