Your mouth is God's brothel.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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