I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
