Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
