I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think my moral compass just broke
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
