addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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