he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
