I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
